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I am eating ham and hot dogs for dinner every day now.

Now would be a good time to get hooked up with a nice girl who can actually cook.

But she won't want to know why I'm eating offal. It's actually coz of Mr. Eric Khoo's (forgot his name, had to google it) habit of eating ham while he drank beer.

I am drinking beer. I'm eating offal.

Disgusting.

I have been sick for 2 weeks, and off cigarettes for same time.

I cannot tell whether sickness or withdrawal is causing my general malaise today.



ANYWAY, I am wondering what happened to sit-coms on telly? Nothing GOOD is on now, but I remember back in 1994, Mondays were 'Mad About You' / 'Friends' / 'Seinfeld' goodness. And what about all the rest, several of which I am too drunk now to recall?

Ok I edited this post. I went to look up some good sit-coms. Bless Google, but not for too long (they rejected me for a job yea).

1. Seinfeld -- I think 'Mad about you' should take this spot.
2. Friends -- not having all that many friends and disdainful of those who love this show, it does not deserve number 2.
3. Frasier -- only if you're whiter-bred than a hill-top bakery, yo.
4. Scrubs -- okay you got me. I love this show to bits. Did it have a laugh-track though?
5. The Simpsons -- no canned laughter, plus all the situations were fake. Does not score.
6. Everybody Loves Raymond -- uh, who again? Seriously, I don't know any Italians, and my grandma is Italian. She always told my grandpa "Alberto, why do we always have to eat Italian?" Picture this with an Italian accent.
7. Coupling -- didn't pay much attention to it then but noted it in my head as a 'good' sit-com.



I give up. 'King of the Hill' and the rest are not real sit coms.

Sit-coms are defined as studio-shot (no handheld, no steady-cam, no DOGMA), canned (or real, who can tell) laughter, and situations that involve room based theatre. My theatre-fu is weak today from lack of use, so I cannot tell you the exact name of that technique. Tight technical restrictions, but as a TV writer and lover, those are my defined limitations.

Here's a list of my own faves. No particular order, coz I don't have any higher brain function left:

Blackadder (all - I even have a telemovie tape of a Blackadder movie. Awesome. As befits a lit hons student.)
Mad about you (may take first place. Romance plus funny plus documentary film-maker. Need you ask why Murray?)



Seinfeld (made me who I am)
Allo Allo ( come on, in the dark 90s, didn't this bring a smile to your face?)
Men Behaving Badly (oh, fuck me but I'm going to jolly well download this. "WE ARE SAILING, WE ARE SAILLING....")
LITTLE! BRITAIN! (some of the best sex I've ever had. I don't mean metaphorically)
Ellen ("I floss religously. Sundays, Good Friday, Christmas...")
Alf (on account of all the months I have been jobless and how this show cheered me up so much; a retributive love)
Absolutely Fabulous (I was in love with a girl who studied in Glasgow, k? And they were classic British. They were also fucking funny can.)
M*A*S*H (cannot remember if it had laugh tracks, but all of you who know my life-long love of J. "Catch-22" Heller, you'd understand why I broke that rule. "Suicide is painless...")
That 70's show (only show I remember worth ANYTHING in the 'modern' tv age)
The Addams Family (the original B/W show - I dropped out of Mass Comm in '93 to watch these at 4.30pm every day. I am praying for forgiveness, since this is the same reason why I made my mother immeasurably unhappy when she found out.)
Home Improvement (I love this show to bits! bits!)
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air ( Oh god. Hancock!)
The Nanny (I didn't actually love this, but she had 'cute' going for her and that was when I loved TV so much anyway)



Didn't quite make it:
3rd rock from the sun. (passable, not great)
Married with Children (had a mate in NS who loved it. Didn't get to see it all that much tho')
Yes, Prime/Minister (didn't catch enough of it)
The Thin Blue Line (didn't catch enough of it)
Arrested Development (no laugh track plus it's new generation)
Malcolm in the middle (see previous)
Ally Mcbeal (the show that launched me into my tv career, but see previous)
Saved by the bell (watched it during the golden days of TV (early 90's), didn't catch much of it though)


As you can tell, I've watched, and loved, a lot of TV in my life. As my ex used to say, "Ah Mah know what life is like. Ah Mah watch TV, you know."

And my own personal saying "Everything I learned in life, I learnt from television."

These aren't even a comprehensive list of all the shows I have seen, liked and disliked.


So maybe now would be a good time to get back into the new reality-series driven television. Candidates in my unwritten repertoire would be 'Escapade' and the new old 'Swipe'.

It is a mistake to think that I was at my peak in my mid or early 20's. I wasn't even 'peaking' then.


There HAS to be a way to do it without needing everybody else on this sorry island
to lick someone's peach-pink ass anus.

I dislike being poor, thank you very much. It does not befit me.


My ass is not that peach-pink yet.


I will think about it. Meanwhile, photoshoot tomorrow.

Food fotography is fun.


I also want to think about acting class, and more.


Reminder to self: I shall sleep when I am dead.


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