The Academy Awards are my annual pilgrimage to what drives me as a writer. I've not missed them for anything in the world, even taking sick leave to catch them.

I can't believe I missed them out this year to write an article about genital warts.

Thank God they'll repeat it soon. But probably without the section on 'Best Sound Mixing'.

I mean for genital warts.

(I hope you laughed.)


I'll tell you what. They can do no wrong.

Nobody can, those who make us dream... I love the academy awards, y'all.

I love them.