I think Wimbledon would attract more fans if they added special effects noises to it.

I mean, imagine that with every serve the females make, they not only grunt, but there's a liquid fart sound to go with it, and bullet ricochet sounds when they spring unexpected volleys.

Tennis is so uptight anyway, unless you're playing with me.

REasons why I love tennis:

Girls in short skirts.

Tank tops.

Ballistics.

Russian girls with names like Natasha and Natasha and Natrilova.

In short skirts and tank tops.


The perfect balance of strength and skill.

Aggression gets you nowhere without the control.

Anyone can beat anyone, and even if they lose at least they'll look hot.




There's nothing wrong with being shallow ... Singapore River was shallow enough (and will always be) and look how we're all getting along. The idea is: get the fundamentals right.

Tennis fundamentals: it's all sex, baby. The serve, the spring, the return, the volley, the bouncy. All that back and forth movement.





Nat has a new grey grip today, because last Sunday, her decaying yellow 3 year old grip let slip and she flew away.

Yea. I'm playing tennis again, but with real live opponents.
I am glad to report that my backhand is very much alive.

I feel so damn good now.

I probably need tennis more than I need cycling.


Cycling keeps me alive

But tennis... it's the spice of life.

That, and girls in short skirts and tank tops.