- NOW OFFICIALLY A CYCLIST -

Not just having two bikes, but having a floor pump qualifies, according to the New York Bike Snob.




Plus I have given MS his very own set of NEW LIGHTS.

See how much I love you? Now stop being an ass and start being the renegade ungulate that you are.

You can't be too nice to your bikes.

They take advantage. They are like little children. If you love them too much, they start pushing their limits.








You know what is more satisfying then owning a car?

Being able to take care of your folks, no matter what happens.

And that means not becoming a bankrupt if you should suddenly lose your job.


Definitely not buying a car now.


I also tried to buy a helmet.

Believe me this, I've tried to buy a helmet more than 24 times in the last 2 years.

Every time, I look in the mirror and discover how much more of a fathead I look when I'm wearing one.

Even black ones.

So I say, uh, maybe next time.


I only look real in the mirror with a helmet on.

- OF COURSE, THAT CAN ALWAYS CHANGE -