Dad broke my heart.

He told me that at the age of 24, he was thinking of how much he could save this year.

And how much he could save next year.

And how much he could earn the year after that, so that he could save more then.


His parents were both gone by the time he was 19.

If not for his aunt, he would have been fostered out. And would I be here today?

At the age of 19, he went to work at a petrol kiosk, pumping petrol. If he hadn't had the brains to get out of that, he'd still be doing it now maybe.

He doesn't even have O' levels.


He did everything on his own. He got married on his own money. And that involved 'ton tin' a system of high interest loans.

He told me that he owes nobody anything today, not a single cent. He has never borrowed money, except to renovate this place that we live in now, and even then he paid back every dollar to his aunt.

Same aunt that told his mother not to give him away as a baby. And took him in and raised him as a baby.

His name is Wong Sup Kan. It means 'tenth nerve'

Because that's how many sisters and brothers came before him. His brother is named Gao Kan. 'Ninth nerve'. I only know of one other sister, meaning that, 6 out of all of his other siblings before them, died.

My Gao Kan uncle is extraordinarily fond of me. Dad tells me he cares about money and status so much today because as a child, he had to walk to school and his schoolbag was a wooden box. Yet today he has a wife and kids in America and won't give up his car even though he's pushing mid 70s.


Anyhow my Dad feels lucky to be where he is now, even with so much sadness that is in our lives now.

Mum.


I am so going to cook for him on Father's Day...

I am so going to be heart-sick tomorrow....


Do you know that you are lucky? Guess not...

These days, it doesn't matter so much huh ....

Guess you don't know what is what. Money is just money, and emotions are just emotions.

But ties that bind....


Oh my Dad knows that so deeply ... I wondered why he laid in bed for 3 days when Grand-Aunt died ... when she wasn't even his own mother .....................

I was just a kid......

And you probably are, too............



I have one thing to say ...

Strong hearts, and nothing else, make the world move .....

Mine, especially .... and I am sure, yours as well .......


The message to take home is this.... Life is hard... worst if you aren't meant to live ...


But a heart full of courage and a fistful of anger, with a couple of tons of humilty and humnbleness .....


You have a chance. Because 98% of the world is too proud to admit that they suck and are less than they claim...

If you are that 2%, the world wants you.

Everyone else, fuck off.