I still miss her. 'Elena' sounds like 'Helena', you all.

In other news, when I was riding Moose-stang to dinner (after 13 hours of 120% work) I popped the question.

"How would you like to have a baby brother?"

Silence. The gears kept grinding, and of late, as though he's sensing my mood, he's gone and utterly fucked up my B-line screw. Result: chain suck into the big rear cogs. My fingers are still black.

"He'll be fun. You'll love him."

More silence. I swerved to avoid a left-turning SUV whose owner was clearly just as tired as me.

"I've already named him Eddy. He'll be a bit like you. Can do a bit of everything, only offroad. You are cross country, and road, and he'll be all-mountain/light free-ride."





"His name is Eddy."

More obstinate, hurtful silence. It's like he could never talk, all over again.

That's the thing with these hybrid bikes that can do everything.

They think they have to be the only bike you'll ever own, and they pay you back for your disloyalty, or the opposite, accordingly.

I'll talk him into it eventually.

And when that happens and I get my car, I'll print a bumper sticker that says "My other ride is an Ibis Mojo."

But let's be kind now. Moose-stang is 10 years old. The only evidence you'll ever have that he was a original Volkswagen is how well his paint has kept up. What else have these bikes got? Everyone else seems to think he's a fake and I've not bothered to stand up for him at all, because, who would really care?




Except me, I am picking Eddy Orange (until I change my mind again) because I have to consider how it matches with my Volkswagen, because everyone in my family matters. Dark blue with dark orange is just so awesome. I bet the Stang thinks so too, even if he is ignoring me for now. So please take note, VWMS.

I came up with some reasons why I'd go ORANGE, but I've not had the courage to tell him yet until I can refute him without any bias. These are they:

- Because when I bleed on Eddy, nobody would know
- Because I am anaemic <--- my favourite
- Because I am hideously colour-blind
- Because why be a wallflower when you can wake the neighbours?
- Because I wanna colour you'd wanna lick
- Because no word rhymes with orange, but everything looks good with it
- Because orange frame with white/black/yellow shocks and white/gold/blue rims is just incredibly a throwback to my radio control trucking/tanking/track car history. Bling is Bleverything.
- Because I can't afford a Ferrari (yet) so why not have a superbike
- Because I already work 14 hour days max on a 3 day week basis, so what time I have that is free has to matter
- Because we're probably going to move office to Macpherson, and given the number of miles I put on him now, he need not feel neglected when I start riding 45 minutes to and fro to work on him every day.
- Because everything has to make sense in my life, you see. I must be considerate to the feelings of my current bike, even if I like ambiguity. Orange matches better than the carbon clear, beige Guiness Foam, Pesto green or the Viscious Blue.


I'm so sorry. I'm drunk and oblivious now. See you on next Leap Year's Day. This is all I can remember to write for now. I am so gonna sleep for a week. Ta and all the best in March for the first week, or at least the first 7 days.

All in, February is a month of achievements. I've pushed the envelope in every direction,including in dreamland.

Now I need to fucking sleep.

And dream.

March, Here I Come.

Get Sunglasses.

Also, holy crap. I just went for my pre--insomnia pee and leaned my poo-paper holder out too far. As it fell to the floor, i kicked it aside with my reflexes (avoiding a reach into Toilet Abyss) and flipped the dry roll over to a safer, even dryer place.

I am really fucking super drunk right now! Yay!